Blue+Green

 I have always been in love with the color blue green, aquamarine, turquoise, anything bluish-greenish. The aura of the color just makes me feel at home and somehow close to what is 'natural'.  My mom's love for colors influenced me a lot too. She would often wear clothes in hues of green, yellow, pink, blue, red and up to now whenever I miss her, I just open her closet and stare at her clothes reminiscing a specific clothing  she wore during a specific day. I remember her collection of flats in lime green and light blue and I was lucky among my sisters to have the same size as my mom because I can borrow shoes from her. LOL

This day felt like a blue green day as well as in the past week. It's just comforting to wear and feel something that is calm as as the deep blue sea and as peaceful as the green fields of grass. Perhaps serenity?

Here are photographs of me and anything in blue green.

I call this pair my SERENITY Shoes.

Haha! Me in bluegreen (center) with my sisters. I know I didn't have a choice wearing that color because I was always  at the middle.

2007 I used to be a hippie-dresser in college, tie-dye shirt! LOL

2009-Bluegreen cardigan, during Diava photoshoot

2010- At home, playing with one of our beagles.

In my room featuring the Green wall. 

Work

2011

I kind of stopped wearing bluegreen since the start of this year and was stuck to grays and then I got crazy for seeing my closet looking so boring! Found no red, pink, orange and green. So i'm back to buying colors again. And I love the summer palettes in orange and magenta and of course blue and green! Color blocking!!

and oh by the way, some color meanings I found at this site.

LIME
excited, motivated, anticipation, prosperity, money, hope, growth, luck, employment

GREEN
air, social identity, oriented to self acceptance, growth, fertility, abundance, prosperity, hope.

*ability to express unconditional love, forgiveness and compassion.

BLUE GREEN or TURQUOISE
cool, refreshing, imaginative, motivated, dynamic, calm, peaceful, joyful, relaxed, truthfulness, healing, meditation, tranquility, forgiveness, patience, sleep, dream, work

BLUE
A balance of the color brings intuition, inspiration, sincerity, peace, joy, tranquility, faith in oneself and trust in others.

today

There are some things that only a mother can understand and make you feel okay.

sometimes when sadness and confusion occurs it is much easier to confine myself to anger. because in anger the feeling is so intense you tend to forget you are sad or confused and you resort to be angry about small things instead.

today i was kind of pressured over things and i admit i have responsibilities that i neglected over these past months. i know and i am aware of it.

my mom's passing has been difficult for me and dealing with it in my own way is the only solution that can pass. i am like inside a big ball of balloon, so delicate that when you try poke it, you get afraid it might burst and when it pops it really pops. that's what i am feeling right now. push me and i get a little mixture of anxiety, confusion, depression. the feeling is endless.

i wish my Mom was here. she could have understand what i am feeling right now and only she can make me feel ok about it. she scolds me, she pressures me, she tells me what to do and that's ok. and now i miss have someone to tell me what to do because the truth is i don't know what i'm doing anymore. i have no dreams or aspirations or whatever as of the moment and all i want to do is just to enjoy even though it only gives me temporary happiness.

i don't know anyone who understands what i'm feeling today. i am not self-fulfilled.

i just want someone to tell me what to do then i can start from there.

december 23

i am suffering from chronic nostalgia.

these past days have been so depressing. didn't go to work yesterday and this morning. and the days before was just for the sake of going to work.

yesterday, 3 of us siblings, my achi, bryan and I had sort of a minor sickness. i think it was slightly because of anxiety nearing the 25th.

i find God, family and friends as my only comfort and strength but sometimes no family and friends can fill up that emptiness inside me. i wish Mom was here...........

curse humans for bringing cruelty and destruction to our world for it gave us diseases and problems and .......

i pray for forgiveness, patience, strength, peace and joy.

I know christmas is Jesus' coming.. and I praise Him for everything!

here goes, Merry Christmas!