I always have this thing with parking lots and parking correctly. This morning I had an irritating case of parking problems upon arriving at work. This pickup truck was parking unadjacent to the lanes thus taking the 3 spaces that would accommodate customers but because the pickup was on the edge, no cars can enter. This scenario got me irritated at first but my calming guard was on alert. I thought the car owner was our customer, it turned out he was a priest who's on business with the bank a few spaces before our store. What got me lose my temper was the banks ample parking space was openly available for it's clients, apparently this 'priest' (forgive me Lord) needs a parking, driving etiquette for him to know where to park correctly. So the anger issue here was me reacting with semi-irritation by blowing my horn non-stop hoping i could get the attention of the driver. After that, the bank employee apologized, the driver transferred it's pickup to the banks parking space and I got in my space.
After I got my cool, I suddenly realized that I acted like a total bitch, beeping like that in the middle of the street. And so the 'I feel bad, i'm sorry, gotta teach him a lesson, that was overacting' dilemma enters the scene. Yes I admit I was over the top by my reaction but that was it. I feel guilty and i'm sorry for that commotion but I'm not sorry for the way that 'priest' parked because that was irresponsible, ignorant and stupid. I do hope he also learned his lesson.
So here I am, keeping my calm by reading articles about controlling anger or temper.
According to the American Psychological Association, anger is :
- completely normal
- usually healthy, human emotion
- an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage
- allow us to fight and to defend ourselves
Dealing with anger,
- The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.
Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.Strategies to control anger:
- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut.
- Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply
- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination
- Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer
To analyze and conclude today's dilemma, beeping irritatingly was rude and that was wrong of me to react so sudden. What sparked that intense emotion was due to hormones on premenstrual syndrome. Next time, I will turn my anger in to humor and try to widen my temper meter a few tads high.
More anger reading on source: http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx?item=3
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