I'm still counting the days. Every 4th of the month is very crucial. What more when it gets to be every year, what more when I long for her more. I can't picture out my family without her anymore.
Things have been different, but some haven't. When I go to work, things are pretty normal because I would think that she's at home sleeping, but when I want to ask her, or call her, I won't be able to hear her voice anymore. So many ironic situations passed in my family. Sometimes when the six of us, my Dad, my 2 sisters and 2 brothers would eat together at the dining table, we would imagine that Mom's asleep, we would try to be as joyful as possible so that each of us won't be sad, but sometimes, it really gets to us. Of course, we kids try to be strong for our Dad. It's hard losing a mother but it's harder losing a partner in life. What's more ironic is that in our day to day life, when there's something that needs to be decided we choose the one that we think our Mom would also be deciding then we would all make a joke about it. Yeah..we make fun of it sometimes. Like when somebody from us won't agree, we would joke about that Mom would scare us off if we don't follow the majority. It's seeing the joy in every situation and when it gets pretty tough, there's always God and well, Mom to talk to.
Life's been good to us. God blessed us with a Mother who prepared us for the possibilities that life will hand us and also showered us with love and happiness. She's one tough woman! Our Dad, who we thought can't handle the whole 2years of struggle made it. He is our hero because not once did he try to give up for Mom. He stayed strong for her and she stayed strong for him. It is because of them that we are strong and we stay strong. It is their love that is our source of strength and happiness.
Whenever I pray the Lord's prayer, I would really be in tears. I feel that God is really there for us because without Him we won't feel the fullness of life given that we lost someone so dear.
